GOT ‘EM COACH FACE MASK TRIBUTE
We like gimmicks here at Got ‘Em. Last year, I ran #AllBlakeAllDay, which was 24 hours of Milkshake, and during the dog days of this past Summer’s thick, wet heat, I ran a Michael Jordan Photoshop Week. Well, it’s a new year, and it’s time for a new gimmick. I present the Got ‘Em Face Mask Tribute.
You could make a serious, and rightful case for Rip Hamilton to kick start our week (and change), but I chose a different Piston. Bill Laimbeer not only wore the first face mask I can remember seeing in a basketball game, but Laimbeer’s face mask was, by far, the most sentimental. Why, you ask? Because the remorseless, kid version of me was openly glad Laimbeer had to endure the pain of an eye socket fracture that extended down into his cheek.
I grew up on the Bad Boy Pistons, and still strongly believe in the philosophies that got them back-to-back titles - play constant, hard nosed defense for 48 minutes, and get the ball to the hot hand on offense. I appreciate them now, but goddamn it took a long time. The Pistons effectively ended the Showtime Lakers, and that was a mighty tough pill to swallow as a youth, especially with all of my Northwest Ohio neighbors hopping on the bandwagon.
It’s with that background that I celebrated Bill Laimbeer’s face mask - not because Bill was a warrior who refused to stop playing Detroit Piston basketball, regardless of the potential long-term damage he could do to himself, but because Bill Laimbeer had a broken face.
And that was awesome. Like Desert Storm, it brought our country together.
*Come back every day for a new face mask.
THE 2004 PISTONS: All Ben Wallace’d out
When you can find a manager whose hair is whiter than the puff of smoke billowing out of his pipe, give me a call. Until then, I’ll be reading old quotes from George Lee “Sparky” Anderson.
“Problem with (John) Wockenfuss getting on base is that it takes three doubles to score him.”
I grew up, proudly, in Toledo, Ohio, home of the most famous Minor League team in all of the land - The Toledo Mudhens. The Hens were and are the farm team (almost literally) for the Tigers, and Detroit, Michigan is actually far closer to my hometown than either Cleveland or Cincinnati. Therefore, I was a Tigers fan growing up. I still compare infields to Alan Trammel and Sweet Lou Whitaker (no quotation marks, because Sweet was no nickname - that’s what you call him), and I still think Tom Brookens was vastly underrated (thank the lord RBI baseball gave him some pop in that bat). I did a stone cold impression of Darrell Evans at the plate, which was only slightly less nerdy than the Lance Parrish button I wore on my t-shirt. Growing up, there was only one baseball manager in all of Major League Baseball.
“If I ever find a pitcher who has heat, a good curve and a slider, I might seriously consider marrying him, or at least proposing.”
I sort of assumed every baseball manager looked like Sparky. To this day, if you tell me about a manager, and I don’t know what that man looks like, I just see Sparky Anderson walking around wearing the uniform appropriate to your story. Even his voice was all baseball-managery.
“Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.”
Sure, at time he was wont to hyperbolize…
“Barbaro Garbey is another Roberto Clemente.”
…but Sparky Anderson was a winner. I know he pushed the pistons in the Big Red Machine, but Sparky Anderson will always be the conductor of the 1984 Detroit Symphony. Bless you boys.
“This game has taken a lot of guys over the years who would have had to work in factories and gas stations and made them prominent people. I only had a high school education, and believe me, I had to cheat to get that..”
Sparky Anderson passed in 2010, at the age of 76. Damn. I thought Sparky Anderson was 76 my whole life.
“I managed 26 years and found out when I retired I didn’t own the game. I thought I owned it when I was managing all those years. You can climb to the top of the mountain, get down on your knees and kiss the ground, because you’ll never own that mountain. That mountain is only owned by one single person, and he’ll never give it up. That’s the way baseball is.”
Neil may have a gigantic sweet spot for baseball, but focuses most of his energy on basketball. He can be found online at Got ‘Em Coach and, yup, on Twitter @GotEm_Coach.
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I believe in this cause, and I believe in the efforts of Michael Clair at Old Time Family Baseball. If you can find it in your heart to donate anything - 10 dollars, 2 dollars - it will be truly appreciated.
Now THAT’S a jump shot. I feel comfortable calling this the “Greatest Photo Ever Taken of Ben Gordon.”
If you close your eyes tight enough, Laker fans, you can dream the dreams inside your heart.
If Kobe doesn’t get to 7 titles (or 6), he can think back to the one they lost in 2004. No slight to those Pistons who played inspired defense and team basketball, but that has to go down in Kobe’s diary as an opportunity lost.
Don’t worry though, just do as I do. Deny, deny, deny. It never happened.
My favorite in the Got ‘Em Hardball Series: No. 05 of 05 by TravisBarkerson / @TrapLauren.
The Goddamn (Got ‘Em vintage series): Dave Bing and his super fresh Pistons uni.
Things I love about this photo:
- How Bing gets up for his jumper.
- That they’re playing on some sort of moon base.
