![THE END OF AN ERA…AND A TRIBUTE:
You may never see another Shaq again. Forget the size, athleticism, and power. Forget the championships, the Finals MVPs, and the 28,596 points. Forget the commercials, the rapping and Kazaam.
This guy was the King of Giving Himself Nicknames. Hell, “Shaq” is a nickname.
“In light of today, I am retiring all my nicknames. The Big Aristotle, Shaq-Fu, The Big Shamrock, The Big Cactus, The Diesel, and finally, the one and only, original, never to be duplicated or replicated … Superman. From now on, you can call me The Big AARP. Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons.”
You forget how he got half of these. While some are regional - “The Big Agave” - others need an explanation.
“’The Big Aristotle’ was coined the day I won the MVP last year [2000]. I stole a quote from that Greek philosopher cat: ‘Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.’”
“Wilt Chamberneezy” needs no further back story. “The Real Deal Shaquille O’Neal” had an intrinsic rhyming property that lends itself to a great nickname. I would have thought there would never be a way to beat “Shaq Daddy,” but he tried. Oh, how he did try.
“’The Big Stock Exchange.’ I start off at one price. Every now and then I’ll go down, but eventually I’ll go back up”
An apt comparison. Let’s stay financial for a second.
“‘The Big IPO.’ Put your money on me. Because when I go public, we all gonna make money.”
He called himself the “The Big Quotatious” for his propensity to provide great soundbites - like the kind of soundbites that end with a guy nicknaming himself “The Big Quotatious.” If you couldn’t tell, “Big” seemed to be a recurring trend. Shaq had a game-saving steal in Orlando, which spawned, “The Big Felon.” “The Big Sewer” because he “had a lot of sh*t.” What about the time Shaq made his free throws, and referred to himself post-game as “The Big Havlicek?”
“Can’t forget ‘The Big Antarctica’ because I’m so cold.”
Don’t forget the abbreviations. “M.D.E.” meant Most Dominant Ever. “L.C.L.” meant Last Center Left. Wondering why did Shaq called himself “Shaqovic?”
“If you go around the league, anybody with the last name ‘vich’ is a great shooter. Radmanovic, Vujacic…all those ‘iches.’”
Makes sense. He wasn’t without a misstep here or there. After “terrorizing” Keith Van Horn in the 2002 NBA Finals, Shaq actually said the phrase “Osama bin Shaq” out loud. Not his finest locker room hour. When Shaq “fought” Oscar de la Hoya on an episode of his reality show Shaq Vs., O’Neal was coached by Freddie Roach, Manny Pacquiao’s world-class trainer, and dubbed himself “Manny Shaquiao.”
My personal favorite? In 2000, after eliminating foreign-born centers Vlade Divac, Rik Smits and Arvydas Sabonis on his way to the NBA championship, Shaq called himself, “The Big Deporter.”
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again - you’ll see another Michael Jordan before you see another Shaquille O’Neal. Thanks, one last time, Shaq.
@gotem_coach
(for the rest of the Shaq Retirement Tribute - click here)](http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lx8kseFVld1qcmnsoo1_400.png)
THE END OF AN ERA…AND A TRIBUTE:
You may never see another Shaq again. Forget the size, athleticism, and power. Forget the championships, the Finals MVPs, and the 28,596 points. Forget the commercials, the rapping and Kazaam.
This guy was the King of Giving Himself Nicknames. Hell, “Shaq” is a nickname.
“In light of today, I am retiring all my nicknames. The Big Aristotle, Shaq-Fu, The Big Shamrock, The Big Cactus, The Diesel, and finally, the one and only, original, never to be duplicated or replicated … Superman. From now on, you can call me The Big AARP. Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons.”
You forget how he got half of these. While some are regional - “The Big Agave” - others need an explanation.
“’The Big Aristotle’ was coined the day I won the MVP last year [2000]. I stole a quote from that Greek philosopher cat: ‘Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.’”
“Wilt Chamberneezy” needs no further back story. “The Real Deal Shaquille O’Neal” had an intrinsic rhyming property that lends itself to a great nickname. I would have thought there would never be a way to beat “Shaq Daddy,” but he tried. Oh, how he did try.
“’The Big Stock Exchange.’ I start off at one price. Every now and then I’ll go down, but eventually I’ll go back up”
An apt comparison. Let’s stay financial for a second.
“‘The Big IPO.’ Put your money on me. Because when I go public, we all gonna make money.”
He called himself the “The Big Quotatious” for his propensity to provide great soundbites - like the kind of soundbites that end with a guy nicknaming himself “The Big Quotatious.” If you couldn’t tell, “Big” seemed to be a recurring trend. Shaq had a game-saving steal in Orlando, which spawned, “The Big Felon.” “The Big Sewer” because he “had a lot of sh*t.” What about the time Shaq made his free throws, and referred to himself post-game as “The Big Havlicek?”
“Can’t forget ‘The Big Antarctica’ because I’m so cold.”
Don’t forget the abbreviations. “M.D.E.” meant Most Dominant Ever. “L.C.L.” meant Last Center Left. Wondering why did Shaq called himself “Shaqovic?”
“If you go around the league, anybody with the last name ‘vich’ is a great shooter. Radmanovic, Vujacic…all those ‘iches.’”
Makes sense. He wasn’t without a misstep here or there. After “terrorizing” Keith Van Horn in the 2002 NBA Finals, Shaq actually said the phrase “Osama bin Shaq” out loud. Not his finest locker room hour. When Shaq “fought” Oscar de la Hoya on an episode of his reality show Shaq Vs., O’Neal was coached by Freddie Roach, Manny Pacquiao’s world-class trainer, and dubbed himself “Manny Shaquiao.”
My personal favorite? In 2000, after eliminating foreign-born centers Vlade Divac, Rik Smits and Arvydas Sabonis on his way to the NBA championship, Shaq called himself, “The Big Deporter.”
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again - you’ll see another Michael Jordan before you see another Shaquille O’Neal. Thanks, one last time, Shaq.
(for the rest of the Shaq Retirement Tribute - click here)
MUST WATCH: The “Pine Box”
One of my favorite dunks of all-time. The Daddy sticks The Admiral in a pine box. There have been many since, but this was the first dunk I ever saw where I assumed the other guy was dead.
From Shaq’s 2002 auto-biography Shaq Talks Back:
I got some revenge at the 1995 All-Star Game at the Alamodome, dunking on Robinson as hard as I’ve ever dunked and knocking him to the ground. That was a message. I wanted to show him that he’ll never be able to stop me, especially when I’m coming like that. I kind of showed the rock to him, then had to bring it back a little bit, and I just threw the thing down, right on him. Wah-pah! And when he fell, I just looked at him, “Stay down, don’t get up.”
Of course, it was the ‘96 AS game, and he didn’t fall, but whatever. Still a pretty great paragraph.
Want to see more basketball murder? Watch: [Young Shaq wheels on David] + [O’Neal diesels Robinson]
REPORTER: Shaq, do you have a special routine before the playoffs?
SHAQ: Yeah, I let your mother rub my feet.
“I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it’s all up in the medulla oblongata. I’ve got a lot up there. I’ve got a lot of knowledge…in this medulla oblongata.” - Shaquille O’Neal
PUNK-ASS DAVID ROBINSON
From Shaquille O’Neal’s biography Shaq Talks Back:
To me, pressure is where your next meal is coming from. So while I wasn’t under any real life pressure to win a title, I knew it was gonna be hard to win it. I knew that everything had to be right, especially with Tim Duncan and the Spurs ready to defend their championship.
A lot of people believed that’s what motivated me, because people were saying Duncan was the best player in the game. That wasn’t it. Would they ever give me that title? Probably not. Tim has a nice all-around game. My game is more dominant in the middle. But there was an ego aspect to my desire to win a title, and it had nothing to do with Tim.
I’m thinking, Punk-ass David Robinson got one before I did? That made me really mad. Oh, man. David Robinson had a ring before me. I’m crushed and I’m hurt.
Me and Dave have history. I looked up to him when I was at Cole High in San Antonio, and he was just starting out with the Spurs. I was a player-of-the-year for my high school. He was player-of-the-year for the Spurs. One time I asked him for an autograph.
He wrote his name real quick and was like, “Yeah, come on, hurry up.” He kind of dogged me out. He was my favorite player. That’s OK. I said to myself, “When I see you, I’m gonna get you.”
Shaq continued in another excerpt:
I don’t hate Dave off the court. I just had to dominate him on it because I got tired of the Goody Two-Shoes image he was throwing out there. He was this crossover guy everyone liked. And I was this big, bad wolf dunking on everyone. Everyone was trying to make it out to be black and white, and it didn’t seem right. So I had to do him like that.
Read more excerpts here.
“He awokened a sleeping giant. I know that’s not a word.” - Shaquille O’Neal
